Things I HATE Online...

Things I Hate About the Internet

1. Virus programmers who really sat down and planned an electronic attack on everyone's email using the clever decoy as "You have received an e-card from your neighbor". REALLY?! Can't wait to open that. I think they should have gone the extra ridiculous mile and if you were that retarded to open it, a giant boxing glove would pop out the screen and break your fucking nose. Honestly who opens their email and says oh thank god, I've been waiting for months for this "e-card from my neighbor". Most people couldn't tell you what their neighbor's last name is and it's on the god damn mailbox! This is America; nobody talks to anyone unless they are absolutely forced into it. Their was a time right after half of New York City collapsed that we banned together and you saw things like teens holding doors open for the elderly, and white guys drinking at the bar with black guys, and Chinese people having coffee with Japanese people. But NOT anymore. Were back to the cold cruel world, and we like it that way... so why on earth would anyone fall for something so ignorant as your neighbor doing something nice for you.

2. If you have new pics (myspace) then that's fine, just don't tell me every 7 mins! I read the first bulletin. However the other 39 were kind of unnecessary. K? K.

3. Facebook – I'm not a big fan. Heres why… Myspace is like the local bar in town, its kinda hip, good music, some people you know, some people you don't. You can talk to whoever you want and its no big deal. Hear a couple new bands, meet some ladies, or catch up with some old friends you haven't seen in years. Facebook however is that bar you drive out of town for like once every two months for a guys/girls night. It's kind of uppity you know. They all have their cliques depending on where there from or what school they went to. You can't even talk to a stranger because they are so quick to bite your head off with a "Do I know you?" Plus face book is also like that friend that's not really your friend. You know the kid who ALWAYS busts you out behind your back. They've always been kind of jealous of you so even the littlest things they tell the whole world... Like "Michael emailed Jeff Today." W T F facebook?!?! Who cares?! Were just friends!! Can't trust facebook. Myspace however is a down ass brotha.

4. Spam emails. Like little electronic empty promises from God. "You can have a bigger penis". No I can't. "Teenage naked girls want to talk to you!". No they don't. "We've accepted your loan request and you can have all the money you want!". NO I CAN'T! Stop lying to me!! Although I will be really pissed if one day I see one of my idiot friends out at the mall and he's lighting his cigar with money, while two naked teens are carrying bags full of expensive clothes and electronics while having a giant rock hard errection in his new Armani pants… Because id have to ask what happened.. and if he said he responded to a few emails I'd cry. Then rush home and sign up for 10 more yahoo email accounts!

I know these are not big ordeals… but these little things bug me while I'm traveling through cyber space…