Butt Hole
So im standing in line waiting to be seated at one of my favorite places in the world.. Applebees..yes im serious.. im with a group of people and the only other person in the little waiting area is the black guy… hes talking on his Bluetooth ear piece.. Side note: black people LOVE the Bluetooth.. almost as much as they love the gold tooth.. anyways all of sudden this guy just says “.. yea.. I know.. he was acting like a real butt hole..”. Now theres two things wrong with this.
1) I haven’t heard the word “butt hole” since I was like 6 years old.
2) He was black… black guys are waaayyy too cool to use a word like butt hole.. I mean come on.. black guys are the smoothest dudes on the face of the planet.. old white preachers don’t use the word “butt hole”.. an old white preacher would say something like .. “yea I know that guy was being a fucking jerk”.
How funny is the word butt hole… say it out loud.. go ahead.. you will giggle your ass off. Now imagine being in public and hearing a complete stranger say it in an angry manner AND they just happen to look like their talking to a ghost because they have their ear piece in.
I wish I had a time machine… but im afraid I wouldn’t use it for anything good.. I would just like to go back in time and watch words like “butt hole” be used for the first time in history. Don’t you ever hear something and go… who the fuck made that up?? I would LOVE to be there the first time someone got soooo mad that they called another person a butt hole. Can’t you just see two men arguing…
Frank- “You know jim…I gotta tell ya… lately you’ve been getting on my nerves..”
Jim- “oh yea.. so what!”
Frank- “Im just saying, maybe you could start doing more around here and stop being such a … a..”
Jim- “ a what frank?! Huh?! Huh?! Come on! Call me a jerk.. tell me im stupid.. let me have it!”
Frank- “ Lately you’ve been a real.. a reeeaaall.. BUTT HOLE!”
Jim-“………. A what?”
Frank- “A Butt hole jim… you remind me of the hole in my butt!!..”
Don’t you ever hear words or phrases and want to know where the hell they came from… someone had to be the first person to say this stuff. “Happy Birthday! You look like a monkey and you smell like one too!”.. what?!? You know some drunk just blurted that out randomly one time while everyone was singing.. and they laughed and laughed.. and one guy went home to his wife, telling her all the cool stuff that happened at the birthday party..
Bob- “..yea.. then he opened some gifts.. I think todd got him a fishing rod..”
Mary- “Did he like the giftcard we got him?”
Bob-“ Yea.. he said he loves that coffee shop.. he said to tell you thank you.. then his wife brought out the cake and we all started singing… oh oh.. and then were all singing right, and out of nowhere jim just yells out – You look like a monkey… and you smell like one too!- just out of nowhere.. it was soooo funny..”
Mary-“ wait.. he called martin a monkey?”
Bob- “yea.. and we laughed, I think I even peed a little..”
Mary-“I don’t think that’s funny.. I mean a monkey?... and then to tell him he smelled like one too.. I think that’s taking it a little too far.. this jim guy sounds like a real butt hole.”
1) I haven’t heard the word “butt hole” since I was like 6 years old.
2) He was black… black guys are waaayyy too cool to use a word like butt hole.. I mean come on.. black guys are the smoothest dudes on the face of the planet.. old white preachers don’t use the word “butt hole”.. an old white preacher would say something like .. “yea I know that guy was being a fucking jerk”.
How funny is the word butt hole… say it out loud.. go ahead.. you will giggle your ass off. Now imagine being in public and hearing a complete stranger say it in an angry manner AND they just happen to look like their talking to a ghost because they have their ear piece in.
I wish I had a time machine… but im afraid I wouldn’t use it for anything good.. I would just like to go back in time and watch words like “butt hole” be used for the first time in history. Don’t you ever hear something and go… who the fuck made that up?? I would LOVE to be there the first time someone got soooo mad that they called another person a butt hole. Can’t you just see two men arguing…
Frank- “You know jim…I gotta tell ya… lately you’ve been getting on my nerves..”
Jim- “oh yea.. so what!”
Frank- “Im just saying, maybe you could start doing more around here and stop being such a … a..”
Jim- “ a what frank?! Huh?! Huh?! Come on! Call me a jerk.. tell me im stupid.. let me have it!”
Frank- “ Lately you’ve been a real.. a reeeaaall.. BUTT HOLE!”
Jim-“………. A what?”
Frank- “A Butt hole jim… you remind me of the hole in my butt!!..”
Don’t you ever hear words or phrases and want to know where the hell they came from… someone had to be the first person to say this stuff. “Happy Birthday! You look like a monkey and you smell like one too!”.. what?!? You know some drunk just blurted that out randomly one time while everyone was singing.. and they laughed and laughed.. and one guy went home to his wife, telling her all the cool stuff that happened at the birthday party..
Bob- “..yea.. then he opened some gifts.. I think todd got him a fishing rod..”
Mary- “Did he like the giftcard we got him?”
Bob-“ Yea.. he said he loves that coffee shop.. he said to tell you thank you.. then his wife brought out the cake and we all started singing… oh oh.. and then were all singing right, and out of nowhere jim just yells out – You look like a monkey… and you smell like one too!- just out of nowhere.. it was soooo funny..”
Mary-“ wait.. he called martin a monkey?”
Bob- “yea.. and we laughed, I think I even peed a little..”
Mary-“I don’t think that’s funny.. I mean a monkey?... and then to tell him he smelled like one too.. I think that’s taking it a little too far.. this jim guy sounds like a real butt hole.”
posted by Malone at 8:20 PM
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