Community Service
So I live in the Broad Ripple area of Indianapolis IN now… its kind of like a downtown of a city and campus had sex and out came the broad ripple area. So im walking down the street around 2pm-ish having a convo with the moms on me celluar telephone… all of sudden this lady starts screaming for my attention from this porch.
"Hold on a second mom… YEAH!?"
"Come here!"
(not moving closer) "Yes? Do you need something??"
"You got a friend with ya?"
(Standing alone on the sidewalk, I look side to side and behind me)
"….no"
"Can you go get someone?"
"…no…do you need something?"
"Yeah..i need you to grab a buddy, come inside…and help me move this TV out of the basement!"
are we fucking serious?!? I mean maybe in the 50's this would have been an okay thing… nice dressed lady, little light jazz music in the background, shes sweeping off her front porch, or watering some plants but NOT this lady.. no.. not this day in age.. she looks like shes been ridden more times than the tilt a whirl at the state fair.. cigarette in her mouth and one in her other hand just ready for the other one to burn out.. bandana… jean shorts that were cut from full length jeans at one point.. tank top with the AC/DC logo.. death metal playing in the background.. 9 children in the yard… I tell ya what lady, why don't we make these little bastards team up and form an ultimate child makeshift megatron robot and have them do your manual labor since clearly you ran off anything with a spine and a set of balls…
My mother being my mother is freaking out on the phone of course…
"Michael.. michael …you cant just go into strange women's houses…"
"Ma, if she was hotter there would have been no questions asked, id have to call you later.."
"Michael… tell me your joking… those are the stories you here about.."
"Yea…in playboy ma!"
"Hold on a second mom… YEAH!?"
"Come here!"
(not moving closer) "Yes? Do you need something??"
"You got a friend with ya?"
(Standing alone on the sidewalk, I look side to side and behind me)
"….no"
"Can you go get someone?"
"…no…do you need something?"
"Yeah..i need you to grab a buddy, come inside…and help me move this TV out of the basement!"
are we fucking serious?!? I mean maybe in the 50's this would have been an okay thing… nice dressed lady, little light jazz music in the background, shes sweeping off her front porch, or watering some plants but NOT this lady.. no.. not this day in age.. she looks like shes been ridden more times than the tilt a whirl at the state fair.. cigarette in her mouth and one in her other hand just ready for the other one to burn out.. bandana… jean shorts that were cut from full length jeans at one point.. tank top with the AC/DC logo.. death metal playing in the background.. 9 children in the yard… I tell ya what lady, why don't we make these little bastards team up and form an ultimate child makeshift megatron robot and have them do your manual labor since clearly you ran off anything with a spine and a set of balls…
My mother being my mother is freaking out on the phone of course…
"Michael.. michael …you cant just go into strange women's houses…"
"Ma, if she was hotter there would have been no questions asked, id have to call you later.."
"Michael… tell me your joking… those are the stories you here about.."
"Yea…in playboy ma!"
posted by Malone at 4:14 PM
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